11 Is When They Start Asking Big Questions


When my children realized the phrase why at age 3, my life as a mother or father grew to become an countless reenactment of The Spanish Inquisition, minus the medieval persecution. My daughters acted prefer it was their job to ask questions and I suppose, in a manner, it was.

The questioning got here in three totally different phases: the itty-bitty questions, the midsize questions, and the BIG questions.

The itty-bitty questions they ask when they’re toddlers are often cute and make you wish to write them down of their child ebook to recollect forever. Examples embody: “Do worms put on headlamps to see?” “Does the solar fall asleep at night time?” And, after all, “Do unicorns actually poo glitter?” Our solutions will be as artistic as their questions as a result of hey, it’s not like they’re going to fact-check us. They’ll’t even put their very own socks on but.

Then they get a bit bit older, like seven or eight, and the questions hit the midsize vary just like the ever-popular, “The place do infants come from?” “Why does that particular person have totally different pores and skin than me?” “Are ghosts actual?” The mid-size questions often give us pause as a result of whether or not we’re prepared for extra in-depth questioning or not, we’re compelled to contemplate our solutions fastidiously as a result of now our youngsters are at that age the place they wish to freely share what they’ve realized with anybody who will pay attention. Additionally, in the event that they really feel like our solutions aren’t fully truthful, they’re extra doubtless to not come to us the following time.

But it surely’s eleven after they begin asking the BIG questions: “Is my college protected?” “What age have been you if you had your first kiss?” “What is happening to my body?” Or the one my daughter just lately requested as we have been cuddled up watching a present collectively: “Would you and pa ever get divorced?” I used to be momentarily speechless as a result of her dad and I’ve a robust relationship and there has by no means been point out of divorce. My response was to say, “Completely not!” However then I assumed, who is aware of what is going to occur ten or twenty years from now. I needed to reply as truthfully as I may so I instructed her I actually hope her dad and I by no means get divorced however that typically relationships finish even when you work actually arduous to remain collectively and it’s okay if that occurs. She appeared effective with that reply and I puzzled if it was a fear that she’d maintain at the back of her thoughts or if she’d fully neglect that she even requested.

When the BIG questions begin, you understand you’d do something to return to the times after they needed to know why college buses are yellow or if squirrels have a secret language.

It’s that very same feeling as leaving the little children’ clothes part for the junior’s division. Absolutely I’m not the one one who couldn’t assist however really feel a pang of disappointment, strolling previous all of the miniature coats and pants. As a result of now you perceive there’s no going again and your solutions to their questions matter most. Gone are the times when you could possibly invent something out of skinny air and even distract your baby from the very query they requested with ice cream. We really feel this immense accountability to be trustworthy within the least emotionally scarring manner.

This may be the final part of your children coming to you for solutions not less than in regard to questions aside from “Can I’ve some cash?” Quickly after they’ll flip to their buddies with their considerations and, much more troubling, they may depend on exhibits or the Web to supply them with solutions. I do know this, as a result of I realized all the pieces about relationships from 90210 and Melrose Place.

Asking BIG questions brings BIG conversations, which aren’t the best factor for folks and tweens after they’re at that stage the place all the pieces we are saying makes them cringe. However on the similar time, I’m glad, as a result of I need my ladies to know that no query is off limits. Although they suppose I don’t know what I’m speaking about as a result of I used to be born within the 1900s, the thought that sooner or later they’ll perceive the place I’m coming from offers me energy to maintain going.

When the BIG questions hit, it reinforces for folks that they’re not our little infants anymore and shortly they’ll be leaving the nest in quest of extra than simply solutions. They’ll be making selections based mostly on the issues we’ve taught them. That’s scary, but it surely’s thrilling, too — for our youngsters, and for us.

Jewel Nunez is the humorist behind One Humorous Mummy the place she writes in regards to the good, the dangerous, and the madness of mother life. She lives on The Central Coast in California along with her husband and two younger daughters. Jewel launched her first ebook, What It Means To Be a Mother, in 2021 and is at present engaged on a group of essays in regards to the classes realized within the first yr of motherhood. Discover her at onefunnymummy.com and on social media @onefunnymummy

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